“My poems couldn’t save me from wanting to die.” (An Interview With Adrienne Novy)

I don’t know if I’m reaching backward in the anniversary edition so much as listening to my younger self reach forward.

“There exists a joy and hunger for more in that younger self.” (Adrienne Novy on Crowd Surfing With God: 5 Year Anniversary Special Edition)

That intensity is impossible to replicate as an adult, I think, because it reverts to nostalgia for us.

Music, Literature, Personal EssayGuestDecember 9, 2023Adrienne Novy, Hanif Abdurraqib

Introducing Crowd Surfing With God: 5 Year Anniversary Special Edition

This book is for you, yes—but more importantly, it’s for the things that tried to destroy you & failed. It’s for the past selves that live in you, still breathing, still breathing.

Announcements, Literature, MusicTopaz WintersOctober 18, 2023Adrienne Novy, Hanif Abdurraqib

“Music was a helpful place to live in the yearning.” (An Interview with Sara Mae of The Noisy)

There was a time where I saw myself and my desire as violent, and this song is meant to complicate that story.

From the Editor & Contest: Lucy Hannah Ryan’s You Make Yourself Another

Every note of this song of our making & remaking belongs to you.

From the Editor, Literature, MusicTopaz WintersApril 18, 2023Lucy Hannah Ryan

"A name is as malleable as a past, a body, and every other part of the self." (An Interview With Lucy Hannah Ryan)

Even in stories featuring dead characters, more often than not it’s my protagonists that do the haunting, looming like spectres over their own lives, trying to break through and feel real again.

At Least at Times It Knew Me (Lucy Hannah Ryan on You Make Yourself Another)

In the back alley of my mind a taxi leaked orange light against the worst of my wounding and I said, I want to leave that here.

Introducing You Make Yourself Another

Every future wears the name of a self you used to be. The body is a malleable thing here. Whatever you need, you can become it.

Literature, Music, AnnouncementsTopaz WintersFebruary 18, 2023Lucy Hannah Ryan

There and Wanting

What we do, what two mistimed people have always done, only ever has one ending. It will never be clearer than it is right now.

Music, Personal EssayGuestOctober 22, 2022St. Vincent, William Faulkner, MUNA, Mitski, Yumi Zouma, Grimes

Introducing Presto

In Issue I of our second opus, show us what you’re running towards, or running from. Give us speed & surreality. Surprise us. Blur the borders. Make us look again.

Announcements, MusicTopaz WintersAugust 5, 2022